expressin’ myself

coffee rises around my brain
trying to fill my days
with productive ways
the past two nights
i couldn’t get enough sleep
thinking of you, of me.
winter blues, gray skies
i want to migrate with
the birds, for warmer times.
full of angst, but inspiration, too
i want to shed all my weight
mental wad
mental garbage
i want to bask in white light.
my time is ticking
and i am full of contradictions
slow down, speed up
it’s fucking exhausting.
i think too much
but is it enough?
i’m hungry for more life,
i can never get it right.

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cracking

stuck in memories
stuck in pain
nightmares flood
going insane
he comforts me back to sleep
i hold onto slight light
nobody can promise me
that i’ll be alright.

winter’s end seems close
and that’s the hope that i need
to keep getting back up
to stand on my feet
warm words and held hands
his smile thaws my scowl
i hope that i show the person
i know i can be.

my wings spread and i dry
out in the sun
i can’t help but cry
a release, so much tension
juggling too much
i feel like i’m cracking.