cracking

stuck in memories
stuck in pain
nightmares flood
going insane
he comforts me back to sleep
i hold onto slight light
nobody can promise me
that i’ll be alright.

winter’s end seems close
and that’s the hope that i need
to keep getting back up
to stand on my feet
warm words and held hands
his smile thaws my scowl
i hope that i show the person
i know i can be.

my wings spread and i dry
out in the sun
i can’t help but cry
a release, so much tension
juggling too much
i feel like i’m cracking.

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tree woman

the only place i keep finding myself
is inside of myself
but that’s the last place
i feel like being, recently
it’s because of the noise,
it hurts
the sunlight can sometimes
emerge, but only touching
my skin
when it’s deeper that i’ve been
requiring a new dawn
excuses awkwardly stumble
from my lips, change is frightening,
paralyzing my being
i crave to dance, to jump, to move
but am a heavy concrete statue
he sits beside me, his frantic
energy hurts
causing me to sink in deeper
but i know he tries and does
make me feel better
just knowing he is committed to my life, i am fortunate
a little white dog always by my side
i am a fortunate woman
broken, but alright
learning to release a victim mentality that i never admitted or recognized until helping hands reached down and picked me up
sorting out my mental garbage, singularly treasure
because this is me, i can shed so much
i wish to be a light walking, peaceful minded, tree woman. that’s me.