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for you

she is strong.

she once believed that she had to
take her clothes off to be something

she hesitated to even do that
because she didn’t have the courage

but moving forward three steps she now knows
she has so much to offer this world

she is caring and is learning how
to love herself, too

she is here for you
but allow her to be there
for herself, too

because she would do anything
for you

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communicate

attempting to communicate
what has already been said
it has all been said, somewhere
some time ago
be here with me
without any costume
could we talk about what
this all means
i want to admit that
i miss drinking
i miss the feeling of letting go
because all that i see and feel
paralyzes my body
it seems that i cannot do it
on my own
but i took a cup from the cupboard
so i could see the room spin
but i quickly put it back
that is not how i want to live
the weight of this world
breaks down my muscles
i want to hear what your experience
is, too
you are beautiful now
be vulnerable with me
because that gets us somewhere
i want to hear what you think
let go of what you assume
the world wants you to be
i do not believe in that mess
that is not life to me
if you spend your whole life
doing another’s work, they will just
ask for more
so wake with me
beside the natural world
where the only expectation is
respect, to survive
it seems the majority has been
trained to want just to want
but i feel so aged, now
i have never wanted to be controlled
as soon as i was aware of the world
around me
i realized the significance of individuality
i do my best not to follow
but i keep my mind open to morph
all opinions hold weight
could we watch the stars tonight
and forget about the movement of time
all that matters is what you believe

tree woman

the only place i keep finding myself
is inside of myself
but that’s the last place
i feel like being, recently
it’s because of the noise,
it hurts
the sunlight can sometimes
emerge, but only touching
my skin
when it’s deeper that i’ve been
requiring a new dawn
excuses awkwardly stumble
from my lips, change is frightening,
paralyzing my being
i crave to dance, to jump, to move
but am a heavy concrete statue
he sits beside me, his frantic
energy hurts
causing me to sink in deeper
but i know he tries and does
make me feel better
just knowing he is committed to my life, i am fortunate
a little white dog always by my side
i am a fortunate woman
broken, but alright
learning to release a victim mentality that i never admitted or recognized until helping hands reached down and picked me up
sorting out my mental garbage, singularly treasure
because this is me, i can shed so much
i wish to be a light walking, peaceful minded, tree woman. that’s me.

five

gray and white fog
clouding my vision
as I carve the twists
and turns
feeling like a chugging
memory
then there were five
white birds
grouped together on
the side of the road
waking me back up
their beauty played my mind
like guitar strings
my heart wishes for this
world to be something
that is just a dream
difficult to wake up
and exist in such
a nightmare
so I fade back into
the past
coping by gliding
silent wings
it’s no way to live
but what else can a
sensitive being do
terrified of crumbling
even more than I do
just by existing

surface

i was there
but i wasn’t really there
i’m never fully there
i’m away
far away in my thoughts
deep in a world where
i can feel sanity
but is this the answer
comatose gaze
perception is complex
but it’s an opinion, a filter
numb skin
if you wish to see me
you’ll have to climb through
and find me walking
miles away from
where the noise and chaos
swirl on puddles of water
like slippery oil
i’m sitting on a hill
contemplating the meaning
of freedom

heart path

i wish to lie under the stars
with you
a place where stress is not
just us and the expanding
deep sea of space
tangled toes and hands pressing
against skin.
we
deserve to feel emerald sparkles
of light
ruby, sapphire dream.
warm energy, let’s never stop dancing,
show me where your heart leads…

at a time

someday, i hope to wake up with my body on the earth, feeling the sunlight warm my toes, my legs, inch by inch
my eyes slowly open and my mouth grins.
other people, loving the earth, too
the trees, clouds, sunrise,
temperature, fresh air, breeze.
where do i go, where do i belong, i am in search of this feeling that lingers all over and in my body and mind.
to shed more and more, learning lessons, simplifying, unlearning what was imposed on me, since birth.
illegal freedom, i’m a free person, one moment at a time.

With, Without, Always here.

Without you here, all is silent
except for my mind
which floods with noise

Without you here
I am severely alone
because you are the only comfort
that allows me to feel at home

Without you here
my eyes lack your smile
your laugh is contagious
I miss you so much

But I must learn how to be
without you physically next to me
constantly
because I know we’ll be together
again soon.

I must accept my presence
on my own
I must learn how to walk, again
I never stay down for too long.